Cautionary Verses and Ruthless Rhymes by Charlie Ottley


This evening, on my Mum’s recommendation I read:
Cautionary Verses and Ruthless Rhymes for modern times by Charlie Ottley.
From Amazon:

Book Description
“Cautionary Verses & Ruthless Ryhmes…for modern times” is
the definitive update of Hilaire Belloc’s classic ‘Cautionary Tales’ for
the 21st Century, targeting the worst types of modern teenager, all of whom
meet with horrible mishaps as a result of their revolting habits. Whether
it’s watching too much trash tv, overusing the mobile phone, being cruel to
animals or skipping double physics, this twisted tome shows us how it’s not
always possible to learn from your mistakes. Author and Travel presenter
Charlie Ottley has been a professional poet for ten years. A resident bard
for Radio Four, Five Live, Carlton and GMTV, Charlie also writes and
performs odes for weddings, birthdays and special occasions. Cartoonist
Oliver Preston’s hilarious illustrations combine to make this the sort of
book that will appeal to everyone, particularly long suffering mums and

In this clever update of Hilaire Belloc’s original “Cautionary Verses”, Charlie Ottley locates our Achilles’ heel and goes for it with a tickling stick. Grumpy old men who go on about the modern world can bore us to tears – it’s so much more fun with a light touch and a comic rhyme. From the dangers of skipping off school to over-dependence on TV soaps, these witty warnings are hugely enjoyable – all wonderfully illustrated with original drawings by Oliver Preston.

I have to say, I loved this! It is 224 pages, but is littered with amusing illustrations to go along with the hilarious and non-PC poems. It took me an hour and a half to read this fantastic book. Ottley uses examples from real life that annoy us all and makes amazing rhymes from them. My two favourite were:
The Malodorous Tale of Nathan Still
Gav the Chav

I found both so funny!
This is definitely an adult book, but a very quick, funny, worthwhile read!

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